Maturing your ego is key to improving your life, business, and relationships.

The concept of ego is an often underappreciated topic when it comes to developing leadership skills. Your ego is the part of your psyche that aims to protect you from harm. Its sole focus is self-preservation and proving your worthiness in comparison to others. Many people refer to egos as “big or inflated” in a negative way, but I prefer to think of them as either developed or underdeveloped. This gives us all hope!

People with underdeveloped egos tend to lack emotional intelligence and are less likely to be successful in a changing world. They often:

  • Lack awareness of their own behavior
  • Stonewall feedback
  • Struggle with change and get stuck
  • Blame others when things go wrong
  • Cover up mistakes
  • Try to appear as knowing all the answers
  • Lack concern for others
  • Won’t open up and share feelings for fear of appearing weak
  • Don’t trust others and won’t ask for help
  • Won’t speak up or set boundaries for fear of consequences

“The underdeveloped ego operates in fear. The developed ego operates in love.”

On the other hand, people with developed egos have higher emotional intelligence and are better equipped to thrive in uncertainty. These people:

  • Are aware of their own behavior
  • Accept feedback
  • Are curious amid changing conditions
  • Are empathetic towards others and share their feelings
  • Take ownership of what’s theirs and ask what they can do to improve a situation
  • Admit to not knowing all the answers
  • Trust others and know how to ask for help
  • Set healthy boundaries out of respect for themselves and others

It’s critical to continuously mature our egos to improve conditions within our communities, organizations, and family relationships. You can assess the maturity of your own ego by reflecting on these four questions:

  1. During stressful or unexpected situations, do you lash out at others or do you ask for help?
  2. When someone else buys a new car, gets promoted, or loses weight, do you compare yourself to their gains? 
  3. Are you often annoyed by minor things and complain persistently about how others behave or do you take time to appreciate what you have?
  4. When you make a mistake, do you allow it to loop in your head over and over or do you practice self-compassion?

In the end, a mature ego leads to a healthier soul and happier life. If you have any questions or you are ready to dive deeper into your development as a leader, reach out to me at Let’s explore your possibilities together.